An unhealthy relationship is a scary scenario that seems to have no end.
Stuck with those ifs, maybes, buts, and what-ifs in your relationship?
At the thought of splitting, do you always find yourself making excuses like – “But, I love him,” “I can’t live without him,” and “He will change eventually.”
If you’re nodding as you read this, then you may be in the fog of an unhealthy relationship.
You might think that there is no escape because of the time you both have spent, the commitment you made, and the strong bond you both have created.
Remember, friends, no matter how emotionally attached you are to the person, if the relationship only brings you to bed crying, perhaps it is better to break it off. Here are some ways to find out if you’re in an unhealthy relationship and gentle steps to begin the process of healing.
Ask someone you trust for their opinion
It is better not to keep everything to yourself. Try to find someone you can trust and ask him on his views regarding your current relationship. Learning other person’s perspectives always help in your decision making. But, remember not to give them the power to make the decision for you. The decision is entirely up to you!
Have a friend going through this process? Learn to be a good listener here.
Give yourself space to have a clear head and make the right decision
You need to be somewhere far, far, far away from your partner if you are in the process of thinking and making a decision regarding the future of your relationship. Why? Well, your partner may unwillingly be adding to the confusion and prolonging the thought process.
That’s why you must try to stay out of contact so that you will be in a stable state to think. The temptation to just throw the thoughts out of the window and return to your partner will arise, but this is when you need to resist. It’s for your own good, so you can make the best decision.
Remember to let your partner know about your temporary absence. Also, do remember to tell your family, friends or whoever you trust. You do not want the whole village to worry about you, right?
Have ‘The Talk’ with your partner
At the end of the day, you must confront your partner and have ‘the talk’.
Perhaps you have made a decision or haven’t yet, but once you know what you want and have a clear mind this exercise will be good for both of you. You might be afraid that your partner will convince you otherwise, or things may get ugly. So only talk to him when both of you are 100% ready. Or bring a friend so he or she can jump into the scene if something goes wrong (let’s hope for the best!)
Be realistic about your expectations of the relationship and your partner
If you’ve been waiting long enough for any of his behaviours, habits or characteristics to change, it’s time to accept that it may never happen. In these cases, you need to ask yourself whether you can wait or if it’s time to move on.
It’s hard to agree to this at first but after all, it’s for your own happiness, health and safety.
But some people do change over the years…
You are right. As mentioned, the decision is entirely up to you and you know each other best. Sometimes, it may mean sitting down and working things out with your partner… and trying again.
Other times, however, realising you’re in an unhealthy relationship may be time to let go and walk away.
The moment that you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do – Unknown
On a see-saw and not sure how to even define your relationship? Learn steps here!
What do you think should be the steps taken to address an unhealthy relationship? Let us know in the comments below!