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10 understated ways to be a better partner

Published on 11 May 2018|
2 min read

In a relationship, it’s easy to set yourselves on cruise mode and forget that eventually, you’ll slow down.

If you’ve ever been part of a committed relationship, you’d have discovered sooner or later that relationships require work. In the beginning, it’s a warm and fuzzy feeling and everything your partner does is cute and adorable. But as the winds of time and change blow, all those feelings can erode. That is, if you haven’t figured out a way to weather the stormy winds by manning the sails.

Thanks to the good ol’ happy ever after, many of us think a relationship sealed with a kiss is a promise of a blissful future. However, the truth is that an amazing future is possible only if both sides truly want it, and are willing to work for it.

So here are 10 understated ways to be a better partner without the fanfare and fuss.

1. Never take your partner for granted

It’s something we say, but do we always do? Remember that your partner is the most important person in the world, and should be treated that way – day in and day out.

2. Create tangible ways of expressing love

What’s sacrificial love for you may simply be a kind gesture for your partner, so be intentional about finding out his or her love languages and work along those lines.

The five love languages are: words, acts of service, physical touch, quality time and gifts

Credit: Jeremy Cai

3. Make room for one another

Often when we become one, we forget that we were two. Don’t try to fit your partner into your mould; instead, create a new mould in which both of you — with your quirks, weaknesses and idiosyncrasies — can fit perfectly.

4. Say sorry

Sorry isn’t what you see often on Instagram. You often see posts gushing a partner’s attributes, or thanking them for being a part of someone’s life. That’s all great, but behind the lens and hidden from public view, it’s often “Sorry” that’s just as important as “I love you.”

5. Carve out time for your partner

In a world where time is short and schedules are tight, carving out time for your partner is terribly important. Whether it’s half an hour before both of you hit the sack or squeezing in a lunch date on a weekday, these little steps make a big difference.

6. Don’t hold grudges

This one is easy to talk about, but often difficult to do. A good way to go about it is to remember that a) your partner isn’t perfect and b) forgiveness releases you just as much as it does the one forgiven.

7. Encourage personal and individual growth

If your partner is career-driven and you’re not, choosing to be with him or her means supporting all of their dreams. She may want to be a stay-at-home mum, so work towards that goal together. Personal growth in a relationship spurs growth and bonding as a couple as well, because there’s less room for resentment or what ifs to bud.

8. Find common interests

It’s been said that opposites attract, or attack. Whichever applies to you, find common ground. Discover interests the both of you enjoy, because it translates into quality time and memories created. This may mean having to try something new or stepping out of your comfort zone, but the rewards are great.

9. Maintain independence

Just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean you have to let go of who you are as an individual. What makes a relationship healthy is when instead of clinging to the other for a sense of identity, you’re confident in who you are.

10. Have a sense of humour

At the end of the day, any relationship without laughter in it is starved of many things good. There are times to be serious, yes. But more often than not, the little fires of conflict can be easily quenched with love and humour.

There you have it, 10 understated ways to be a better partner. These efforts may not show up on your Instagram or get those double-taps, but they are what make relationships in the real world work.

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Featured Image Credit: Priscilla Du Preez

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