By Olivia James, Carrybeans
Nowadays, if you’re not into booze or hitting the clubs, you’re considered boring (I’m not saying those who do are though!)
These days, if you do not have the latest gadget in your hand, you are considered to be outdated.
Nowadays, if your social circle is small, you are considered to be “unpopular” (yeah, because quantity is wayyyy better than quality).
Nowadays, it is better to have a common identity rather than a unique self-identity.
It’s really about social conformity, and everyone has their own stand on this. All of the opinions above are mine; I’m speaking based on experience and observation (and really from the heart).
To me, social conformity is fine as long as:
It doesn’t force you to compromise your beliefs, morals and priorities. This depends on your own conscience and core values.
It brings out the best in and of you. If the changes you make turn you into a more confident speaker, then it’s a good change!
It’s not for the sake of popularity. To each their own, but I personally think this reason is not a good justification for wanting to conform to a social group.
It makes you a better person — for example, if you find yourself kinder, less angry and more generous after making some changes to yourself, that’s a great direction to be heading in.
What I am trying to say is…
If you still can’t fit in a particular group (after a number of failures), it’s okay. You don’t have to.
Do NOT force yourself.
Perhaps it’s about time to start looking for a new group.
A group where the individuals accept you for who you are.
One where you do not need to compromise your priorities, morals, beliefs, etc.
One where the members can help you to grow or enhance your potentials and abilities.
One where you can be 100% yourself.
Most importantly, one that makes you happy.
If you can’t fit in, remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. That is, unless different people around you are pointing out the same issue they have with you. If that’s happening, you may need to take a step back and see where you can improve.
But that doesn’t mean becoming a people-pleaser.
If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection – Lecrae
At the end of the day, everyone is different — and so are you.
Do not hate those who reject you. Do not hate those who think weirdly of you.
They just view things differently. Their lifestyle is different. The way they are brought up isn’t the same as yours.
Learn to accept yourself and keep in mind (and heart) that there is someone, something and somewhere for everyone in the world we live today. Social conformity
Remember, you do you!
The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect. – Brené Brown
You Do You is a series of articles about discovering yourself in this big adventure called life! Olivia James is doing her internship with Carrybeans. She writes articles (check out her Suicide Series), edits content, decorates herself in Christmas lights and likes the maggi kari goreng down the road.